Blast From The Past: Justin Morneau

Not much unlike now, when I was in HS, my extra cirricular time was spent online. The difference is when I was in HS, my online time was spent chatting w/ random guys in distance cities and states. Now it's just spent reading other people's blogs & random sites. One of those random guys when I was in HS was a 19 yr. old kid named Justin Morneau, who was living near my dad in FL, playing some sort of minor league baseball, trying to work his way up to the big leagues. I remember him specifically because he played a stupid game w/ me, trying to get me to pronounce his name, which I didn't have a clue. When he was done w/ the game, he told me it rhymed w/ porno. Like most long distance HS internet flings, we only talked a few weeks or months, then we were bored w/ eachother & moved on.

A few weeks ago I pulled up a search engine, and this was the picture for the feature story:





Crazy pic, right? So I clicked the link to get the details, and guess who it is! Justin Morneau! Apparently he now plays in MLB for the Twins, recently signed a bazillion dollar deal, and just got married.

Who knows. Maybe if I had been more serious about going to college in FL after HS was out, we could have reconnected, and I could be the wife of the bazillionaire MLB player.

I can’t concentrate.

I’m sitting at Panera, trying to eat & do a little research, but can't concentrate due to the horrendous 1st date going on behind me. I just can’t help but laugh at the middle aged and not so attractive dude, who’s date is actually attractive, shoot himself in the foot by spouting off bullshit about political policies he clearly doesn’t know anything about - other than what‘s been spoon fed to him by his favorite fox news shows.

By the way, do people not realize that political commentators are NOT political authorities? They are paid entertainers. This is how they earn their salaries: They saying outrageous things that draw in an audience of like minded minions. Advertisers see the number of people the show attracts, and is therefore willing to pay to advertise during that time slot. Knowing that the more viewers the show has, the more the show can charge advertisers, hosts then compete with each other to say something more over the top than the last one, thus bringing more viewers to their show, which translates into more advertising dollars, which means a bigger paycheck for said host. Even that jackass Rush Limbaugh admits to this and calls his show entertainment.

Anyway, back to my original post… You can tell by the look on her face and her distant “uh-huh” replies that she, a) doesn’t really give a shit, or b) can tell he’s too ignorant to actually have an honest discussion about the topic.

Poor girl. Clearly I feel sorry for her. So I’m going to go eat some german-chokolatekake for her.

2001.09.11

It’s been eight years, but I still clearly remember waking up around 11:30am that Tuesday morning, turning on the TV, and everything around me stopping. I wasn’t there and I don’t know anyone directly affected. That’s true for a lot of us. But it still hurts. Its still so fresh in our minds.

Apparently I’m NOT gay, just sad.

More from Your Art = Your Sexuality continued below…

After I stated my straight case, I was then told that I am sad. It was explained that I’m obviously sad because I’m single, which means I “don’t have love in” my life, and that is THE ONLY POSSIBLE EXPLANATION as to why I like black & white photography - because love in my life would make me choose color prints, not b&w, with inspirational sayings on them.

Nice, hey?

Apparently I’m Gay???

What does it mean to be gay? I thought it had to do with your sexuality, but I guess now it really IS all about the stereotypes….

Last weekend I received a package in the mail. Here is what was in the box:

When I pulled it out of the box a comment was made to the effect of, “I thought you didn’t like art & stuff like that.” What I’ve never been able to honestly tell that person is that I do actually love art, especially photography, but that I just didn’t favor their home-made-arts-&-crafts-country-kitchen-cowboy-ranch-hodge-podge décor. So I said something like, “No, I like lots of art. I just tend to favor bold, clean lines, black & white photography, and more minimalist and masculine design.” This person then said point blank, “You don’t think you’re gay, do ya?”

WHAT THE FUCK??? Since when does one’s home décor & design taste determine their sexuality?

Let me just set the record straight… Pun intended. I am a feminine (not girly) female who LOVES penis, and sometimes fantasizes about getting some girl-on-girl action but will never actually follow through with it. I love my hetro friends and I love my gay friends and I love my les friends - and I mean real lesbians, not sorority girls who like to put on a show. But at the end of the day, when I lay me down to sleep, I dream about the MAN who I’ll spend the rest of my life with, who will be the most amazing father to our children. No matter the sex fantasies and no matter the real life girl crushes I’ve had & never acted on (unless you count that one summer I went on 2 dates with a girl, who on date two I noticed she had tons of dirt under her fingernails and I was totally disgusted at the thought of her potentially fingering me, not to mention how dirty her vagina might be), I am just a plain jane hetro gal.

But since I like masculine design, I must be a big ole BUTCH BUTCH BUTCH DYKE lesbian. LOL - I love how people connect the dots in their own minds.

Now, in all fairness, this person has never met anyone I’ve dated. But that’s because I choose to keep my private life private. There’s no need for you to meet every random Joe I date, until I’ve determined if he has any serious long-term potential. But that doesn’t make me gay!

And I’ve gotta pull the “technicality” card too. I have a vagina, and as long as I do, I can never be gay. Like I said before, I like penis. If I said I like penis, and also had a penis, I’d be gay. Since I have a vagina, if I said I liked vagina, then I’d be a lesbian. But I have a vagina and like penis, and that means I’m straight. We could get into all the bi-sexual / bi-curious mumbo jumbo, but I won’t, as I’ve clearly confused one too many people already.

But what if I was a lesbian? Does this right-wing, bible-thumping “homosexuality is a sin” ultra-conservative person really think I’d come out to them? When pigs fly out of my penis (and sometimes vagina) loving vagina!

Still in my sweats...

Yesterday I read a blog post where the author writes about being one of those moms who doesn’t have it together. She talks about how she can’t get dressed some days and how she doesn’t even get around to brushing her teeth until noon, all because she is too busy tending to dirty diapers, overflowing trash cans, ringing phones, etc., along w/ the lack of energy that comes with being a mom. She said that before she became a mom, she never could have imagined that she’d “become that woman. The pale faced, ponytailed, sweats wearin’, old t-shirt sporting MOM.” She wanted to know if anyone related to her, or if she was just crazy.

I can say w/out a doubt that I relate. And I don’t even have kids. What does that say about me?